The beautiful feline
above is named Daniel Tiger. He's been with me for ten years-through
breakups, moves, job losses, you name it. Since I've only been
married eight years, I guess you could say that he's the longest
relationship I've ever had! He's twelve years old, but you'd never
know it. That is, up until three weeks ago.
Out of nowhere, he
started having problems with his balance. He stopped eating, was
unable to walk and wasn't always aware of his surroundings. The vet
thought it could be a rare brain infection, so we started treating
him for that. Ten days later, he was still in a lot of pain and was
only getting worse. As much as we hated to do it, we took him back to
the vet to be euthanized. He's buried at my in-laws' house in the
country, along with some of their old cats.
That was a couple of
months ago, and I still miss
him. Hopefully your pets won't have to be put down because of pain
but, unfortunately, the death of a pet is something every family has
to deal with. It can be particularly tough on children, who may have
known the pet their entire lives. It's never going to be easy, but
here are some suggestions on how you can make things as smooth as
possible.
-Keep mementos. Keep
your pet's collars, tags, etc in one place so they won't get lost.
This may sound strange, but we kept a tuft of Daniel's fur. My
husband joked about doing that so he can clone a new one, but it's
wrapped in some tissue in a keepsake glass upstairs. If you can,
'retire' your pet's favorite toy or blanket. If possible, make use
of them. For instance, our vet made an imprint of Daniel Tiger's paw
on a piece of clay. Depending on the size, you can use it as a
Christmas ornament.
-If your kids want to
have a funeral for the pet, go ahead. Have them share memories and
talk about what the pet meant to them. If you want, mark a grave or
sprinkle ashes in your pet's favorite spot in the yard. It might feel
strange to go to all that effort, but activities like this are a good
way for your children to gain closure.
-You may not want to
get another pet right away, but leave the option open. If they ask or
you decide you want to get a new one, have your kids pick him out.
You will, of course, have 'veto power', but this will help ensure
that the new pet will fit in well with your family.
For many of us, pets
are members of the family. Hopefully these tips will help you and
your kids adjust when these family members eventually pass away.
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